Active Language,  Goal Setting,  Mindfulness

★ The questions we ask ourselves

So it turns out, the questions we ask ourselves (usually without realising it) are one of the most impacting and influential forces on our days and indeed, our lives.

Gertrude has recently found herself in debt.
She says to herself (aka she asks herself the following question):

Q: Why am I always so broke?!

Her brain will hear that question and immediately (and so very helpfully) go searching for the answer. There is a problem with her brain being so helpful though. It won’t know to look for anything other than the exact answer to that question. It doesn’t know to bring back an answer that will make her feel better and uplift her as opposed to one that will take her lower.

It will only give her the exact answer to her question.

So the answers that her brain will find will go something along the lines of:

A: ‘Because I have rubbish job and I’m not good enough to earn more so what’s the point in saving?!’ <—- Another question for your brain to exactly answer!

A: ‘Because I’m not worthy of having money and deserve to be in debt’ <—- lack of self-worth – that’s a biggie!

However, if Gertrude was to ask the same question but this time using active language:

Q: ‘What could I do to bring more money into my life?’

Her brain will again, go looking for the exact answers to that question and you can see how this time, the answers will only be positive even if the road to achieve them currently feels uncertain. 

A: ‘I could start properly saving my money even if it’s just a little bit at a time’
(Note the use of active language!. She didn’t answer ‘I could stop spending all of my money’. She phrased the question with the word ‘start’ instead of ‘stop.

A: ‘I could start looking for a different job! One that I would love and would pay me better. It’s about time I was paid appropriately for the work that I do.’

First question version = DIS-empowering answers
Second question version = EMPOWERING answers!

So as you can see, there is great power held within the skill of asking the right questions of yourself. And when you add the skill of using Positive/Active language into the mix, the answers returned, will clearly be a catalyst for a positive state change that will undoubtably move you onwards and upwards.

Yours mindfully 🌿

simone-secci-49uySSA678U-unsplash

Leave a Reply

Book in for a free 1-2-1 conversation with Alison Petty Coaching