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The Calamity
If you could come up with a solid mindset test for me the following scenario would be it.
Winter times are somewhat nippy when you live at the foot of Yr Wyddfa aka Snowdon. So there I was, adjusting my heated blanket just moments before joining an online networking meeting, when I brilliantly managed to catch the lead of my stand-up lamp and launch it not only into my head but also directly onto the screen of my perfect TV. My perfect TV screen that now has not one but two inch-long scratches on it.
Now if you know anything about me, you will know that I am not a materialistic kind of girl. However, one of the things that I unapologetically am is a huge film and TV fan. So my television is a pretty decent one and large in size as that quality of watching is all part of the experience for me and for the screen not to have any distracting marks on it is another big part of the deal. So clearly, while there are far bigger problems in the world, this was never going to be my favourite thing that happened that day.
The Silver Lining Within
Seconds after I noted the lamp hitting the screen, I found my mortified self on my knees inspecting the damage. What came next was a shift that was not familiar to one who perhaps only a year ago, would have proceeded to have a somewhat distressed and angry response to this calamity.
And herein lay the silver lining.
I found myself in the midst of a simple pause that was followed by a deliberate taking of a slow deep breath. I then heard myself internally say the magic five words, ‘I don’t mind what happens’. These five words, as I shall soon explain, are inevitably accompanied by a powerful and much-needed mindset shift that I am only in recent times becoming familiar with. And it was from this shifted mindset place that I stood up, reset the lamp back upright and far away from the TV to not tempt fate, sat down at my desk and joined that networking meeting.
I then made the very wise decision to not create a story around what had just happened as I know enough to know that the stories we create about the experiences we have in our lives and then repeatedly tell ourselves and others are the precursors to how we will feel, think and act in the days, months and years to follow. So that’s a truth for you to ponder and I’ll come back with more about that in ‘coming soon’ blog.
I also ‘held my response’ but I will tell you about my simple yet powerful new way of dealing with what is about to be an unhelpful response in yet another ‘coming soon’ blog!
I of course, told the story of what had just occurred in the meeting as I knew it would be a both mortifying and funny story to tell. And it was indeed enjoyed by all. I mostly told it though to share a story about a good mindset shift and spread the word of ‘I don’t mind what happens.’ Five words in that exact order that I’ll always share given the chance.
The Magic Five Words
‘I don’t mind what happens’ comes from the Indian philosopher and spiritual teacher J. Krishnamurti who shared this simple yet powerful approach to life during a talk at a lecture in California in 1977.
There are various accounts as to how he imparted his wisdom but the story goes that while talking, he suddenly paused, leaned forward towards the audience and asked, “Do you want to know my secret?” to which everyone listening became very still and alert. He then gave them his magical answer “This is my secret – I don’t mind what happens.”
The full quote is: “This is my secret – I don’t mind what happens. That is the essence of inner freedom. It is a timeless spiritual truth: release attachment to outcomes and deep inside yourself, you’ll feel good no matter what.”
I first came across J. Krishnamurti and his beautiful ‘secret to life’ a few years ago and can still clearly recall being deeply shifted in my mindset by the power that is held within this simple sentence. So much so, I quickly began to implement this approach into my days and now regularly offer this way of responding to the world to my clients who each have also recognised the power of this approach.
Now I’m not suggesting that this is an appropriate response to all life’s challenges. For example, I would not be saying these five words when experiencing grief or if I was to be seriously injured. However, I know that 9/10 of what I perceive to be problems are not actual problems but rather mental constructs and creations of my own mind, therefore, those five words have many opportunities to be appropriately used.
Our brains are brilliant. There is no doubt about that and they are always doing their utmost to protect us from getting hurt by things that ‘might’ happen in the present moment and future.
But more often than not, those ‘things that might one day happen’ have indeed been created by our brain and we invariably end up in a bizarre scenario of being afraid of a future that we have created in our mind. A future that is yet to exist in reality.
It is therefore important to remember that this is one of the many brilliant ways in which our brains look after us so we can bypass it when it is smart and useful for us to do so and not let it trip us up into believing that there are problems when there really and truly aren’t.
So it’s those 9/10 types of ‘problems’ that I now address these magical five words to.
The Magic Within
Here are two tips that will enable you to get the true magic happening when you find yourself saying ‘I don’t mind what happens’.
➤ Just saying the words won’t cut it
Congruence is everything when it comes to these five words. You have to mean it otherwise your brain won’t believe it. So really think about what it means ‘not minding what happens’ in response to the situation you are in and using those words for. As long as saying it is feeling good for you, really and truly mean it. Your brilliant brain will do the rest as you will have just given it all it needs to move you forward in a new and positive direction.
➤ Let go and let it be
While letting go of the outcome is always a powerful way to move through one’s life, for some humans, it can be one of the hardest things to do. Letting go though, will be the outcome of saying ‘I don’t mind what happens’. So if you are one of those beings who struggle with detaching, use these magic five words as a catalyst that will enable you to do just that.
Growth 🌱
I knew at the time that this way of moving through what had just happened was different and immensely more helpful and constructive for my day. That year or so ago, I unquestionably would have been considering selling the TV and buying a new one within moments of those scratches occurring despite how insanely crazy and expensive that would have been as I would have lost money in that process.
There would also quite likely have been tears and a dramatic story about how ‘I now can’t watch anything without seeing those scratches’ and how ‘films are now ruined for me’ which during the following days and quite honestly, months would have been told to anyone who would listen. It really would have been that terrible a deal for me. Which of course, would have been made even more terrible by the story I had created and was telling about the whole situation being terrible.
But instead, I found myself back at my desk aware of what had just happened and that whilst it indeed wasn’t the best thing that had happened that day so far, I was simply getting back on with my life.
And as for YOU
The next time you find yourself having missed that bus or not being able to get the shoes that you so desperately wanted in the sale in your size, or needing someone or life to respond in a certain way so that you can feel better about yourself, say those magic five words from your heart and with congruence.
And as you do, feel what it feels like to have the destructive power that was once previously held within your response to ‘the thing’ or the needing of that outcome to be a certain way dissipate within your mind. And enjoy the peace that comes with that ‘letting go’ shift.
And so to conclude…
aka a big life lesson from a big scratch on a TV screen
I am quietly confident those TV calamity kind of life curveballs are simply sent to test us but I would add that they are also an excellent way of measuring just how much we have grown. Those scratches that are now forever embedded on my once perfect TV screen are clearly far from ideal but their appearance and continued presence have offered me an invaluable opportunity to notice how my mindset has developed and strengthened in recent times. So perhaps it is now that my TV screen is perfect.
And at the end of all things, when I hold that ‘problem’ up against having lived for 24 years being predominantly bed and wheelchair-bound due to the chronic bone, muscle and joint pain symptoms experienced under a diagnosis of ME and Fibromyalgia, well those scratches really do pale into absolute insignificance. They really weren’t and aren’t a problem at all.
And interestingly but not one bit surprisingly, I haven’t once noticed those scratches while watching my favourite TV shows and films. All because of those magic five words and lack of creating a dramatic story that would be told for years to come.
Perspective really can be everything can’t it?
As can not minding what happens.
P.s. I thought you might like to know that the day I wrote this blog I brilliantly managed to drop my phone and crack the screen.
And guess what…………..
Yours mindfully,
Alison ツ
I am an Advanced Master Practitioner of NLP, Coaching and Hypnotherapy + a Practitioner of IEMT.
Read how I went from a Wheelchair ➝ Rock Climbing ➝ Mindset Coaching HERE
It is now my life’s purpose and passion to help you figure out and dismantle whatever negative narrative or limiting belief it is that’s holding you back so that you can truly live the life you so desire and deserve ✯
